Season Preview: New Jersey Nets

-Oh Lord. What we once had to look forward to in the highflying antics coordinated by alley-oop extraordinaire Jason Kidd, ambiguity of NBA legend/misfit, old-bones Vince Carter, and the Dave Berri hating, yet still entertaining Richard Jefferson, has now turned into currently* the most depressing franchise in the NBA. The whole team is comprised of a lot of average veteran talent. along with young unproven players with chips on their shoulders, who unfortunately aren't good enough to do anything about it. Bobby Simmons, washed up a while ago in Milwaukee, Maurice Ager a great Michigan St. Alum with less NBA floor time than the halftime mascots, Keyon Dooling, one of the more untalented "scorers" in the NBA, Sean Williams with crazy defensive potential yet caught in "the little engine that could"'s dog house. Julius Hodge, well, here's to getting better after being almost shot to death. All that round's out that secondary talent out with old-bones and Yi Jianlian, biggest marketing fluke in NBA history and you have well... the Nets.

The Good Side: I wish i could find a comparison to Chris Douglas Roberts, maybe a less athletic, more jumpshot oriented version of Grant Hill. Maybe a little Reggie Miller? This guy's got it, and whether that means he'll be the 2nd option on a championship team in the next 13 years we'll wait to see, but him and Devin Harris will be the only ones to fill the seats for the die-hards this year. I have hope for Ryan Anderson, but something tells me he might be too slow for the NBA

*ASTERISK means that all of this pertains to this year. I'd say that Jay-Z's ownership in this issue and that pertaining to him being Lebron's Jesus, may turn things around in 2010. Anything could happen with this team but if the free agents don't come in '10, and your starting point guard is getting beaten by a British White dude.. you're in for it.

Grocery Outlet Comparison: Claim Jumper's Meatloaf

One of the foulest frozen foods in the GOC. Too many gravied fake potatoes: Josh Boone. The "fresh" green beans are limp and tasteless, Brook Lopez. and the Meaty special is old prepared horsemeat which somehow still excites you because how well your mom used to make it: Vince Carter

MVP: CDR

I don't think it will take long for CDR to show he'll be one of the top scorers in the league within the next few years.

Projected Record 28 - 54 Atlantic Division: 5th