The Wages of Wins article on the Brett Farve Crapshoot, ends on a note that in a nutshell best represents the joy of professional football... "But as I have said repeatedly, quarterbacks are really like mutual funds. Past performance really doesn’t tell us much about the future. Consequently, every Lions fan (and I am one) can enter every season hopeful about the future (and this makes football great)." Although football, in my opinion, is way too calculative, slow, and depedent on one position to be considered in the same stratosphere as the guiding light to Poot's World, basketball, the condensed seasons with constant parody, give hope for marketable stars to be born along with the worst teams of last season, a chance at redemtion the next. As you can tell, I my qualifications will limit me from providing Balls-Deep Sean Salisbury type analysis, however, criteria based on Strength of Schedule, 2003 Likeability, Head Coach Tendencies, and RB/QB/WR strengths will all be taken into consideration... Enough BS, 16 previews on the way, let's start with 8:
Detroit Lions - If the NFL was 17 century Europe, the courageous 14 year-old girl Joan of Ark, would undoubtedly be played by the Lions' John Kitna. Driven by Jesus, Kitna has been said to have converted his teammates with his spirited pre-game huddles, along with predicting the Lions to make the playoffs last year... The latter surely a sign of desperation which the bearer
of the thorny crown paid no attention. Despite Kitna's old dog/zealous determination, he who hath the organization's throne of player personel, Matt Millen, would be safely considered any Lion fan's version of the anti-christ, therefore negating all this religious hoopla... a decade of bad decisions/losing culture have Detroit in a slump, but their schedule is the easiest I have seen so far, which has me looking for them to start 3-0, even out 8-4 and then slide into the playoffs at 10-6? I might be crazy but come on, Charles Rogers is still in Poot's World's HOF....
Green Bay Packers - Oh Brett, how your LEGACY has been tainted! oh wait, no that was when you threw 26 ints in '06. Ok so onto Aaron Rodgers. Chico/Cal Native... 'Nuf said, this guy could definitely beat Rothlisburger in a Keg Stand, which makes him a good guy for your fantasy team. Mike McCarthy looks like he should be Pixar's version of the Marshmallow Man which won't fare well when he is thrown to the fire of their tough regular season. Despite the fact I think Rodger's will prove he deserves to be with this team for the next few years, with Minny looking to improve and Detroit finally sneaking into the playoffs, I'm going to have to say sorry Cheeseheads, 8-8. *Note, Poot put up a picture of Jason from the Hills and Rodgers not only taking this blog down a notch, but also plummeting the GB record to a projected 6-9.Philadelphia Eagles - Brian Westbrook reminds me somewhat of a Baron Davis type star...
When they are on the court/field they light it up in dynamic fashion, however they are criticized as being plagued with injury problems *Westbrook much more of late. When Donovan is healthy and the Q is rocking, Philly is a tough team to contend with, but the question is, am i living in 2003 when Michael "PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON" *Donna voice, picked McNabb and P Manning and won fantasy, or are him and Westbrook in washed-up wonderland. Whatever those 2 status' are, the Eagles fate will fall with, entonces, look for one last gasp of breath from the current bunch... Andy Reid is a boss, +3 wins, their schedule looks good, and their D is usually vicious so, there we go, 11-5 for a re-energized Eggles squad.Saint Louis Rams - With a 3-13 record last year, and a sub-par performance from a man
expected to have a break-out year, Stephen Jackson, we're looking at another bummer in Saint Louis, but wait, we're in the NFC West, which means anything's possible. If Jackson an Bulger get healthy they will do some damage, and their schedule doesn't seem too tough, so look for Jackson to have a better year, and a few surprises to come their way... maybe a Trent Greene heroic come-back? Their defense apparently sucks, but hell, 9-7 sneaking in.New York Giants- You know that type of hang-over that comes around once ever, i don't know, 3 months, where you wake up feeling energized. Well, that's not Giants this year, and why should it be? They pulled a M
iami Heat on 'roids, beating the Patriot-Mavericks on a deal with the devil, which solidifies Eli the next few years at quarterback, and gives New Yorkers a reason to sit back and watch Brett Favre get sacked 3 times a game. They've got a killer D, and potent enough offense, but Michael Strahan's absence and lack of reasoning to even try to get as lucky as they did last year truly does not "vale la pena". Congragulations New York and Mr. Coughlin (On the Right), you have a free-ride to do whatever you want the next two years, start it by booking a trip to Hawaii in January... 7-9
iami Heat on 'roids, beating the Patriot-Mavericks on a deal with the devil, which solidifies Eli the next few years at quarterback, and gives New Yorkers a reason to sit back and watch Brett Favre get sacked 3 times a game. They've got a killer D, and potent enough offense, but Michael Strahan's absence and lack of reasoning to even try to get as lucky as they did last year truly does not "vale la pena". Congragulations New York and Mr. Coughlin (On the Right), you have a free-ride to do whatever you want the next two years, start it by booking a trip to Hawaii in January... 7-9Chicago Bears- However meaningless and subjective all my criteria may be, the RB, QB, and WR's anchor any team's attempts at putting points on the board, and the Bears have collectively the worst of these in the league. Brian Griese, PWHOF Brandon Lloyd, and Kevin Jones will not get t idone, and their D is good but not what it used to be. Everyone expects the Bears to be good every year but it's looking like Paris Hilton return to the luxury box might have to be the only thing to look forward to. Ouch... 4-12
Hotlanta Falcons- Last year being the exception, every season since the NFC AFC merger of
1933, the NFC South's worst team of the year goes on to win the conference championship the ensuing season.... Is this going to change despite Hotlanta having one of the worst teams in the NFL, NO! Consider this Matt Ryan's lucky four-leaf clover getting drafted by a team in an anti-madden curse type year. Rejoice Falcons, Al Horford might even suit up for tight end... 11-5.Tampa Bay Buccanneers - Any sane person would, I believe, pick the Bucs, and not the Falcons to go 11-5 and win the NFC South. That's just not the case here. With another Poot's World Hall of Fame nominee Jeff
Garcia at the helm as one of the more underrated quartbacks of the century, decent receivers, and a Cadillac just waiting to go under the radar, the Bucs could be very dangerous. Add to that Child's Play III Jeff Gruden, and a killer defense, and if it weren't for the Dirty Curse of the NFC South, we'd be talking a 12-4 team here... Well Bucs just feel fortunate that it helped you out a couple of years ago when you went to the super bowl vs the raiders. 5-11 considering the voodoo shit.Jesus that was tenuous... 8 more maybe next week
1 comment:
that C. Rogers jersey was tragically given away to a middle schooler. but he still holds true in my heart.
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